Worry Author

Addicted to attention

29 Sep 2015, 17:11

All of the ex guys I have been with in last year were treating me disgusting in bed...my long-distance bf always wanted oral from me, asked pictures and videos even tho I said I am uncomfortable, haven't showed me affection even tho he called me his gf. He is 37 and I am 20, so the only"I love you"I got was when he was drunk.
The other one who cheated on his gf with me would let me wait for hour or longer when we were supposed to meet, almost always used speed with me even tho I had two seizures first and last time we used it together. Never showed me much affection other than kissing but I guess it was cause of guilty feelings he had.

The guy before these two was a guy I really felt sexual chemistry with but he would call me only when he wants and would never make decent conversation with me or was toughtful. He was 26 like previous guy but already has an ex wife and a 4 year old son.

I somehow managed to get over him and when this last relationship with long-distance guy failed(haven't seen him over 6 months...)I realised I was damaged good.

I constantly want to feel passion, have amazing sex with someone...I still imagine my long-distance bf even tho he treats me bad. Sometimes I wish to revive what I had with speed guy but we worn out what we had(I see him on kickboxing class)and sometimes I feel sorry how foolish I was thinking the guy with kid was a real thing...

I feel utterly dissapointed but I still want more...I feel it's unfair how I can't get affection when I can give so much...

I went on the pill for these guys, pleased them, was always there for them, tried to be better for them...but I also just realized I have been with too many of them in past year...I had at least 6 guys just this year...it's upsetting me...I constantly get myself abused with all these guys who don't love me...

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