Wow... your story brings back memories for me! I feel your pain hon. I was even suicidal. Its not so much that you dont want to live, as that you dont want to live there. How supportive and close to you is your boyfriend? You should have someone you can trust to talk to. (You can pm me here any time you want to, too.) You should start thinking about what you want from life and how to get it. Step one should be figuring out where you will go if things get too bad. Running is better than dying, because it gives you a shot at finding happyness and safety. Find out what your legal rights are. Where i am, you can get a leg document at 16 that says you dont need a parent or guardian and may go where you please as jf you were an adult. Its called an emancipation letter. Then find a friend who would let you stay with them for a while till youre on your feet. Try to find a summer or weekend job, and save your money as much as you can. You should have a "bug out bag" a collection of things you'll need if you have to leave on short notice, and leave it with your friend or boyfriend. You should have a sma notebook with important phone numbers, a change of clothes (or two) and extra socks/undergarmants, cell phone charger, some cash (hopefully a couple hundred) and basic hygene items like a hairbrush, toothbrush/paste, bar of soap, shampoo, deoderant. You should also find out about emergency housing provided by your local government. Some people will be mad at me for posting this, but i remember feeling this way and being beaten and verbaly abused so much, i was afraid to even say it anonymously. I wish so much that someone had paid attention and helped me, or told me about this when i was a kid. I got lucky, a series of major events changed how my family treated me, but very few are that lucky. I really hope everything works out ok. Listen to your instincts, not people who tell you to shut up, or that they are helpinv when you feel theyre hurting you. Be brave, be smart, be you.